On understanding others – End of the Day for March 26, 2014

Life is filled with complications — most often of our own making. In many cases, these complications often arise from our lack of understanding of others. Now, to be sure, understanding other humans is difficult and fraught with complexity. Often, we can be unsure of our own motivations, desires and emotions. How are we even supposed to fathom those of others? Too often we seek to convince or control those around us. We are right. They are wrong. It is as simple as that. If they would only realize it, there would be no problems at all.

Of course, it is rarely so black and white. There are shades of grey in every situation. Trying to impose your concept on “right” on others only leads to more conflict and, in the worst case, deep bitter enmity. There are times in your life when agreeing to disagree might be the best solution. Constantly trying to convince another that there beliefs are simply misguided or even wrong, is a sure way to raise the hackles of anyone, no matter how close your relationship might be.

Now, of course, you may be right. You may have acres of research on your side, intellectual reason in your camp and even the might to enforce your beliefs. Still, when you seek to enforce instead of understand, you often raise their ire of others even more. I believe that rather than trying to enforce your beliefs, you need to bring others to your way of thinking slowly, gently, and with understanding. You can’t dismiss their concerns and worries, you have to help them dismiss them themselves. You can’t enforce. You can only cajole. You can’t ban. You can only communicate. Only then can real change occur.

Previously on End of the Day:

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