Of marriage and time together – End of the Day for March 20, 2014

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Rosanne and I have been married for almost 29 years this year and we have both learned many important lessons about marriage and relationships over the years. I was reminded of one today as we shared a work day here in the home office. Rosanne is off on Spring Break from one of her colleges, so we gain these unexpected days “off” on occasion. The truth is, we rarely have a complete day off as there is always something that needs to be accomplished both personally and professionally.

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Douglas and Rosanne in London

The lesson that comes to mind at the end of the day is that it isn’t what you say to each other, what you do together but rather the time you spend near each other that is important. After so many years together, we each have a pretty good idea what the other person is doing or thinking. It is the ability to look over to her desk and see her sitting there that really matters. There is something that happens just from the proximity of being near one another. I know, for me, I am less anxious and less stressed when Rosanne is around. Even if she isn’t directly involved in a project or task with me, just being there is important.

Perhaps I am noticing this more lately since Rosanne is working out of the house more than she has in many years. Combine that with a long commute on most days, I don’t get a lot of time to just “hang out” with her. This makes days like today more prominent just in comparison to other days. Just as we learned in school, comparison and contrast is one major way we make sense o the world. It is only when life changes from the norm that we really notice.

The middle of the semester always holds such busy times, but I know that eventually it all settles down again until we reach the summer holidays and we have the time to just hang out. So today we just sort of did our own things, but in close proximity, and somehow that was enough. It is important to remember that we can just “be” with each other as Joseph is growing older and we will have more time together then we can imagine right now. I think we can both imagine more days like today in our future and that we’ll both be OK with that.

Previously on End of the Day:

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