When your children grow up – End of the Day for April 23. 2014

Watching your children grow older is always interesting, but never more so then when they are teenagers. Watching the dance as they take the first tentative steps into relationships and commitments like high school and college can be like watching a movie that is released in installments. Like Dickens and his writing, each new chapter comes with something unexpected along with with a bit of confusion and a bit of angst. Still, watching this “movie” can be utterly fascinating. When you have a screenwriter in the house, things can get even crazier. She starts to write scripts and stories of how their lives will play out simply because it is what she does as a writer, not because it has any basis in reality. (LAUGH)

Joseph as Tony in West Side Story

With each step along the way, I cross my fingers and hope I have given my son all the knowledge and tools he needs to negotiate this confusing time of life. Not everything can be explained or taught, though. There are difficult lessons that can only be learned through experience. That said, I hope that I have shown my son that he can talk with me about nearly anything, if he needs to. I can’t always tell him what to do, but I can always listen.

I think that is part of the secret of parenthood, if there are any secrets at all. You need to set boundaries, but you also need to know that there are times and places when they are out of your direct control. All you can do it try to instill the intelligence and morals necessary to make the right decisions at the right time. You can’t live your life for them. You can only help them start their lives with the best resources and skills possible.

Previously on End of the Day: