When you are addressing problems in your work and your career, I usually recommend
taking a soft approach. No matter how severe the problem, a few gentle words
can often smooth the waters and get people back on track. That said, there will
come a time in your career when you simply have to tell it like it is. While
it does call for a certain amount of tact, this isn't a time for sugar-coating
the message. If you have tried resolving the problem with more subtle methods,
then it might be time to sit down with the person and deliver a bit of unvarnished
truth.
While you might think it necessary to have these tough conversations
only with those who work for you, you will often need to have them
with your peers. These
conversations can be more difficult, due to the different nature of your relationship,
but they are just as important. If you cannot resolve a situation with a co-worker
by talking it out, you may need to get your manager involved. This may have
consequences far outside your control, though. It is better for
both of you to work out your
differences alone, rather than risk the annoyance of your boss.
The first rule of engagement in a situation like this is tact and decorum.
Even though you are delivering bad news, you don't need to be obnoxious about
it.
Bullying, threatening behavior will only further charge the atmosphere and
usually results in dramatic scenes that do almost nothing to solve the problem.
No matter
how angry the other person may get, or how abusive, you need to remain as calm
and respectful as possible. You job is to communicate the nature of the problem
and what needs to be done to correct it, not belittle the person.
That said, the time for "beating around the bush" is over. You need
to come to your point quickly and directly. You need to lay out real world examples
of the problem that clearly illustrate what you mean. State them quickly and
directly and then ask the person if they understand the issues you have presented.
Some defensiveness is to be expected, but sometimes, feeling trapped, people
can lash out at you, the company and everyone around them. It is up to you to
keep the conversation on track, though. Don't allow yourself to be pulled into
discussions that aren't directly involved in the problem at hand. Remember, your
goal is to make this the last conversation you need have about this problem.
Stay focused and see it through.
In the past, I might have recommended you use language such as, "I feel..." when
presenting your issues. Since subtler methods have failed to address this problem
in the past, though, I would caution against it here. They give the other person
the opportunity to dismiss your concerns as personal, rather than professional.
They will see you as the problem, not the situation you are trying to correct.
In some cases, your own actions might have played a part in the creation
of the problem. If so, clearly admit that. If you don't bring it
up, the other person
surely will. That said, don't take the entire burden on yourself. Perhaps your
directions for a particular project were not clear in the beginning, then this
was a failure on your part. If the other person continued to not perform their
duties, though, even after multiple clarifications then the failure also lies
with them.
The final, and most important, point to remember is that you cannot
ignore problems, simply hoping they will go away. That is probably
what brought you to have a
discussion in the first place. When you ignore problems, they fester and grow
until you are forced to deal with them in a supercharged environment of anger
and spite. No matter how difficult it might be to address a problem now, I
can guarantee you that it will only be more difficult should you
wait.
From today forward, make a commitment to yourself and others to address
problems and issues earlier and more directly. I can only imagine
the amount of hours,
dollars and tears that might be saved if we only took that commitment to heart.
Today, not tomorrow, is always the best time to tell it like it is.
Comments, Questions, Reviews?
Career
Opportunities
