In the past I have writtenabout the need to keep certain
information, like your drinking habits and emotional problems, to yourself.
There was no need to fill in the entire office on your lack of a love
life or angry breakup, but there is some information that you can, and
should, share with your co-workers, and they with you.
Getting to know you
Too often you never get to know the people you work with. Sure, you
might know the car they drive or the town where they live, but you rarely
ever really get to know them. This is not to say that you will become
close friends with everyone in your office. I have considered myself
lucky if I can make one, long-term, friendship from any specific job.
You are looking for commonalities here, not love. Getting to know those
who work with and around you can help you perform better in your job.
Finding common ground, a love of dogs or cats, shared interest in rock
climbing or anything in common helps you to understand the other person.
The next time you are called out to repair a crashed computer or help
them layout 300 labels in Microsoft Word you have something to talk
about other than the $#^@*# computer or the weather.
Getting to know those around you forces you to remember that they are
people too, with hopes, fears, weird little quirks, just like yours.
Too often, in high-tech, you can begin to disassociate yourself from
those around you. People become problems to be solved instead of people
to be helped. They become entries in your tech support database instead
of living, breathing human beings. Take a minute to think back on your
last few weeks of work. Are you talking to other people or merely marking
off tasks on your to-do list?
So what do you say?
So how do you open the lines of communication? Did you notice the pictures
of children or grandchildren on someone’s desk? How about the
certificate for completing the marathon last year? Almost anything can
be a conversation start, even the ubiquitous “how about those
Dodgers?” I am not talking about depth here, that comes with time.
I am talking about scratching the surface of communication, not jumping
into the deep end of the pool.
If personal issues make you uncomfortable, ask about the other work
they are doing. Maybe they are having trouble using a piece of equipment
or their boss wants them to use a piece of software they know nothing
about. Breaking the ice is just that, cracking the surface veneer we
all carry around to protect us from the world. Making those cracks can
be a little frightening, but it is well worth the small fear and the
small effort.
There are many benefits that you can gain from opening up, the most
important of which is a new found enjoyment of your work. Imagine going
to work in a place that contains many interesting and enjoyable people
instead of just a load of complainers who do nothing but take up your
time with trivial problems. While that may overstate the facts, I have
personally been in the situation of dreading my workday. I know from
talking to others that it can happen in the best companies.
Getting to know people also opens up opportunities for you to develop
people into partners and not simply clients. People are less inclined
to bully you, push you to cut your standard rate or work unpaid overtime
if you have developed a relationship with them. They might even begin
to handle more of their smaller high-tech issues themselves, bringing
only the higher-level problems to you.
Sometimes you need to start talking to people just when you are dreading
it most. If you are truly upset with someone, talk it out. If you think
they are disrespectful of the work you do, talk it out. If you hate
going into work every day, talk it out, with your co-workers, your boss,
your spouse, someone. You deserve better than a lifetime filled with
dissatisfaction and disappointment.
Don’t let the slide down the slippery slope into disassociation
and misanthropy ruin your chance to have a good job and enjoy it too.
Get to know those around you. Make an effort to share yourself with
them so that they will feel free to share themselves with you. Too little
understanding between you and the people around you can make life a
dismal place. Reach out whenever you can. It can only enhance the quality
of your life and your career.
Career
Opportunities
