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Archive for the ‘Tuesdays with Transitioners’ Category

Video: It’s Ok to engage with change from “Transition as the New Normal” with Douglas E. Welch

December 23rd, 2014 Comments off

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So, again, another reason to be out there engaging with transition — engaging with change — on a constant basis and I don’t want you to be afraid of it, because you’re not deciding the end goal of your life with every single decision. You’re just looking into it. It’s like walking down the shelves of a library and seeing a book that interests you and pulling it off the shelf and reading it. There’s no huge commitment in that. There’s no huge commitment to flipping through the first few pages of the book. It doesn’t mean that’s the only book you’re going to read for the rest of your life. So, why would you think that change that comes into your life has the same effect. You’re not committing to that change forever. You’re just looking at it and investigating it and say “Hey, is this a good change? Could this change lead to something bigger? Could it make my life a little happier a little better, whatever?” Hey, it’s worth checking out.

Video: Don’t forget how to change from “Transition as the New Normal” with Douglas E. Welch

December 16th, 2014 Comments off

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Another scary part about this, of course, too, is stability, as we all know, is fragile. It’s not always there. It can change overnight. If you aren’t constantly exercising your transition muscles — if you will — if you aren’t constantly out there looking for change and engaging in change and looking at opportunities and being aware o them and making “carefully considered decisions”, when you’re presented with something like that, where stability suddenly goes out the window in a large way, we often don’t know how to react. We’ve lost the ability…we don’t just not want to be uncomfortable. We’ve forgot how to be uncomfortable…and we freak out. (AGITATED) “I can’t deal with it. Too much. I can’t deal with it!” it overwhelms us, because we haven’t had to go through that much change in such a long period of time. We’ve forgotten how to change.  

Video: Accept Opportunities Into Your Life from “Transition as the New Normal” with Douglas E. Welch

December 10th, 2014 Comments off

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I had someone call me the other day and they said, “Someone came to me with this opportunity and I don’t know if I should even talk to them.” Why wouldn’t you talk to them? (Agitated) “Well then I – it’s too much and my boss…” I’m not saying you have to take the opportunity. All I am saying is you need to talk to them. And once we got to that standpoint in their mind — I’m not deciding anything. I’m not leaping off the boat. I’m just talking to people. We should all be doing that. If an opportunity walks in that door — talk to it. Don’t slam the door in its face and I see people do that all the time. Opportunity shows up and, of course, again, just like transition, what;s our first response to opportunity? (Screaming) Ahhhhhhhhhh. It’s scary. It’s frightening. I want to run in the other direction, because it’s too good. It’s too interesting. It’s too much possibility there for us to deal with. Don’t do it. You’re turning away opportunities at the door. not every opportunity is going to result in something. Not every opportunity is even going to be something you want to take advantage of. Talk to it. See what its about. . 

Video: Stability should make us open to opportunity from “Transition as the New Normal”

December 3rd, 2014 Comments off

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Stability in one part of our life can often give us the courage — and the freedom — to reach out and be a little more daring in this or in that. if we have a good job — now, people always say it’s difficult to look for a job when you have a job — it’s because of stability. We’re safe. I don’t have to look for a job, so why would I ever want to go out looking for a job again? I’m not saying you need to go out looking for a job, but you certainly need to take the freedom that that stable position gives you as an opportunity to look out further. And, to look for opportunities that come to you. 

Video: An excess of stability? from “Transition as the New Normal” with Douglas E. Welch

November 26th, 2014 Comments off

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A perverse nature of stability, too, is that sometimes we can have too much stability. If you’ve ever heard someone say, “I’m bored. Life is boring. It’s all I do. I have my house.” and they have a lovely house and a lovely car and lovely children and their life is boring. And I think in a lot of cases, they are suffering form an excess of stability. They don’t have enough change, enough transition, in their lives. We strive so hard and so long for that stability that sometimes we actually end up getting trapped by it. Because we get there, it’s like (deep sigh) “Aaaaahhh. Now I never have to think about it again.” Well, you do that for about 2 months and then you start to go mad, because life becomes boring. Without change, life is boring. Without transition, life is boring. 

Video: Constantly look for the new, the different from “Transition as the New Normal” with Douglas E. Welch

November 19th, 2014 Comments off

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We want to constantly be looking outwards for the new, the different, the change and the transitions in our lives and embrace them. That’s where opportunity in your life and career comes from — from these new, different, changeable things — that person who walks into your life and has a great idea but doesn’t know how to go forward with it and that’s what you can provide them. The new job that suddenly appears out of nowhere. The new book you’ve read. Whatever. We need to constantly be looking for those interesting things in our lives because that’s where great things are going t happen.

Video: Our reaction to transition from “Transition as the New Normal” with Douglas E. Welch

November 12th, 2014 Comments off

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Don’t just accept everything as kind of a fait accompli which means something that has just happened and you have to deal with it. Yes, there are points in our life every so often — I don’t think they are usual — when things are kind of presented to us and we simply have to deal with it, but as everyone in the self-help genre is fond of saying, it’s not what happens that is important. It is our reactions to it. And I am a perfect example of that. I have trouble with my reactions to change sometimes. Which is why I have thought about this so much. I tend to overreact to things. That’s just the way I’m made up. I can do things that try to alleviate it. I can work around it. Self-knowledge helps. Even if you can’t control it entirely. At least you know, Ok, this is why I’m feeling this way. I need to like go off in a corner and have a cup of coffee and just chill for a while an get my footing back, but it’s very important to understand who you are and how you reat to things and try to tune those reactions to better serve you. Sometimes we spend all of our time trying to better serve the externals. Everybody out there. Everything out there and we don’t think about ourselves that much. And that is where transition can really throw us off. We’re not thinking about how am I going to deal with this transition. We’re thinking about what are they going to think about this transition. 

Video: Are you feeling trapped? from “Transition as the New Normal” with Douglas E. Welch

November 5th, 2014 Comments off

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And as I often say, “If you feel trapped — you are.” There is no way around that, because trapped is a situation that we let our own mind get into, if we feel we have no further options. It’s rare we don’t have any other options, but, the trouble is, those options just may not be that popular with those around us and that triggers, in us, fear of “Aw, I’m not going to be accepted. They won’t want to be my friend anymore. They’re not going to want to talk to me anymore. They’re not going to do this for me anymore.” Whatever. So we don’t do it. We basically give control up to that other situation, that other person. 

Video: It’s Ok to say No! from “Transition as the New Normal” with Douglas E. Welch

October 29th, 2014 Comments off

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You have to engage with transition. You can’t ignore it and yet, you have to manage transitions, too. It’s Ok to say no. It is and I want to really  reinforce that with you. When faced with a transition that goes counter to what you want to accomplish in your life, your career, your relationship, whatever, you not only have the right to say no, you have the obligation to say no. It’s important for you to say no for your own self-preservation. I meet a lot of people who feel that because of obligation or family relationships or responsibilities, whatever, they can’t say no an it eats them up. And often times in talking with them about career stuff, we can’t get beyond their issues that they’re talking to me about because they have a much deeper issue that they’ve never resolved and that is this feeling of obligation. A feeling of being trapped. .

Video: Don’t let fear make you give up control from “Transition as the New Normal” with Douglas E. Welch

October 22nd, 2014 Comments off

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Fear can drive us to inaction as well. it can cause us to retreat to our cave and basically let the — make the world go away. The worst thing you can do, because if you try to disengage with what is going on around you — one, it doesn’t further your actions. You feel further out of control and, frankly, if you don’t manage your life — if you manage your career — there are lots of people out there who wil gladly manage it for you. Your managers. Your supervisors. Your family. Your spouse. If you don’t make a decision, they will gladly go, “You need to do this!” and all of a sudden, you’ve lost even further control. You given up your control,to them. Which I don’t think is necessarily something you want to do. I think, even in the smallest ways, we need to feel in control of our own lives as much as we can.

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