Finding time and space to be a couple again – End of the Day for March 7, 2014

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A thought hit me as Rosanne and I walked back from Creme Caramel’s Food Truck Friday this evening. Joe had just texted that he had arrived home after a long day of school and musical rehearsal and it made me remember that we had just had an evening out, on our own, almost like we used to do in the past. Even better, I’ve noticed that we have had more of these opportunities lately as Joe has gotten older. Don’t get me wrong. I love being a Dad and can’t imagine ever regretting taking that route in love, but it does change a couple’s dynamic when a third (or more) is added to the picture. Raising a child requires certain changes and limitations on a couple that simply can’t be avoided. Somehow I think both of us knew that sometime in the future our time as a couple could come around again — and sure enough, it has arrived.


As 16 year old requires a lot less supervision than a 6 year old and Joe also has a lot of his own activities that keep him at school for long periods of time and out at events on the weekends. The first few times this happened, it felt a bit strange, I must admit. Suddenly we were alone to set our own schedule, figure out what we WANTED to do with our time instead of what we HAD to do. There have been several times when we have had to drop Joe at an event but then plan our own “day out” for ourselves somewhere nearby, This Sunday is one such day and we plan on heading out to Ojai and the surrounding area for the day, enjoying the countryside, town and each other’s company. Then we will return for Joe and head back home. It is great how well this works out. Of course, you need to notice the opportunities and take advantage of them. Too many times opportunities can slip through our fingers simply because we ignore them or lose them among the “noise” of everyday life. 

We have often talked about what would happen when this time arrived in our lives. We have seen some couples who didn’t know how to settle back into being a couple after so many years as a trio or quartet. When we had alone time in the past we would sometimes look at each other and say, “Well, I’ll guess we’ll be ok after he is off to college. We can still talk to each other and hang out like we did before.”  It’s important to notice these changes in your life and accept them for what they are — reality. Life changes constantly, but it is these large changes that we see ourselves and others most clear.

Now, go out on a date. You deserve it!


Previously on End of the Day:

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