#Trust30 Day 12: Fear and Insecurity

Today’s Prompt:

Fear by Lachlan Cotter

These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Is fear holding you back from living your fullest life and being truly self expressed? Put yourself in the shoes of the you who’s already lived your dream and write out the answers to the following:

Is the insecurity you’re defending worth the dream you’ll never realize? or the love you’ll never venture? or the joy you’ll never feel?

Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes?

Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?

Now Do. The Thing. You Fear.

(Author: Lachlan Cotter)

As someone who can still feel the keen embarrassment of events 30 year or more in the past, getting beyond my insecurity is difficult. I can relive these experiences and still feel my heart race and my cheeks color as if I was still trapped in 1970’s Ohio. Still, I find that by pushing this aside and moving forward, I can still create something unique. I can mourn who I was in the past, but I can no longer do anything about it. Life is too important to let the past stop you from achieving the future, even if you can still feel the pain of the past. Thankfully, I have found a way to take this lesson to heart and continue developing the life I want to achieve. Otherwise, my life would be truly wasted.

Blunders never matter long after they occur, but the memories, the thoughts, the empathy can stay with you forever. What matters is what you do these memories. Sometimes you can only ignore them — lock them in dark cellars from which they only occasionally escape. These same memories can also by the fodder for your future work. You can mine them for all sorts of amazing stories both true and fiction. Sometimes this is the best that can be made of the past — recycling it, reworking it, remolding it into something new and powerful.

I think I have discovered that no, I cannot be happy being anything less than who I really am. I sacrifice much to achieve that, as do those around me, but I think that living with the person I would otherwise be would be just as intolerable for them as it would be for me. I have lived my life on that side of the equation and found myself falling into great traps and dangers. I am sure that had I not found a way to live the life I had I might not have had much of a life at all.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing.

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