Never Enough
May 13, 2005
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Would you rather work for someone who praised you for your
good work, or someone who constantly denigrated your efforts? It seems
an easy choice to make, but every day I see people, managers and high-tech
staffers alike trapped in relationships where praise is in short supply.
Even more, these same businesses often fail or never even approach their
optimal levels of success. Yet, these people often see no connection between
the lack of praise and the fortunes of a store, department or company.
The “Never Enough” syndrome can drive many a high-tech worker
into other jobs, if not other careers.
Yeah, but...
Any project, large or small, is a success of a thousand (if not, million)
steps. Each step brings you a bit closer to your goal, but too often we
fail to recognize our smaller successes and the accomplishment of others.
The dialog often goes this way,
“Hey boss, I just solved that problem in the Commit routine (or
order entry or network server login, etc).”
“Well, that’s nice, but...”
In one moment a manager can either support his staff members or send them
to the world of “Never Enough.” In the land of NE, workers
quickly discover that no matter what they do, no matter how hard they
work, no matter how much money they save the company, it will never be
enough to elicit even the smallest hint of praise from their managers.
In one small encounter, you can either bootstrap staff members to even
grander achievements or make them think, “Why bother?”
“Yeah, but...” can be one of the most destructive forces in
an office environment and yet people use it every day. Wouldn’t
it be better to say, “Wow, that’s going to move us exactly
in the right direction. Now that we have this solved, what can we attack
next?”
How would you look on someone who, when offered a gift, refused it as
“not good enough?” You would probably consider them rude,
ill-mannered and, possibly, just plain mean. Yet, when we refuse to acknowledge
small successes, it is exactly the same experience. Someone comes to you
saying, “I did this good work for you (or the company, the family,
etc.) and you dismiss them. How would you feel in the same situation?
Would you be inclined to bring any more successes to this person? Would
you be inclined to accomplish anything at all?
Not about self-esteem
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about praising people when
they have done wrong, or, more usually, done nothing. It is about acknowledging
those people who have done well, and often consistently so. If someone
is not performing well, give them one chance to improve, based on clear
guidelines you provide. If they still don’t perform, let them go.
Too often we spend so much time focusing on the laggards in a group we
entirely fail to acknowledge the good work that is happening. Instead
of trying to whip the laggards into shape, focus your attention on the
accomplishments that are happening every day.
Praise is a natural human need. We all need to feel that we are doing
good work and that someone, anyone recognizes that fact. Should you praise
someone for sharpening a pencil? Of course not. Should you praise them
for debugging a troublesome web page? Of course. If you don’t, most
people will quickly understand that you never intend to praise them. They
immediately know that they have entered the land of “Never Enough”
and should just stop trying.
Denying praise for the small successes in your company will insure that
your large successes are fewer and farther between. Everyone must feel
that their efforts are appreciated as one small step in the march towards
a project goal. They don’t expect to be carried about on their co-workers
shoulders, or even given large raises, only that their success be acknowledged
as a success.
It is here that projects are made and unmade. The land of ‘Never
Enough” is a lousy place to live and an even worse place to work.
If you find yourself there, as manager or staff, you are doomed to failure,
unless you learn to support the work of those around you.
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