David Whyte on the Relationship Between Anxiety and Intimacy via The Marginalian [Shared]

David Whyte on the Relationship Between Anxiety and Intimacy via The Marginalian

The image is a book cover, predominantly dark blue and black. A landscape scene occupies the lower half of the cover, depicting a body of water reflecting a pale, circular shape—possibly the moon—above a dark, hilly horizon line. Scattered white dots are overlayed across the entire image, resembling stars or light specks. The text on the cover reads, in varying sizes and weights: "CONSOLATIONS II", "THE SOLACE,", "NOURISHMENT", "AND", "UNDERLYING MEANING", "OF EVERYDAY WORDS", and "DAVID WHYTE". Above the title is a quote in smaller letters: “A compass for a lifetime.” – MARIA POPOVA.</p>

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It takes a long time to know a person — to unbutton the costume of personality and unlace the corset of coping mechanisms in order to touch the naked soul. It is a process delicate and difficult, riven by anxiety and absolutely terrifying to both, requiring therefore great courage and great vulnerability — a process the hard-won product of which we call intimacy. “There is no terror like that of being known,” Emerson anguished in his journal while trying to navigate his deep and complicated relationship with Margaret Fuller. It is a wise terror, for it knows that there is no greater pain than the pain of intimacy severed — by betrayal, by distance, by death. To triumph over that terror in order to know and be known on the level of the naked soul is an act of faith — perhaps the greatest act of faith there is. Because all faith requires a surrender to something we cannot control, all faith begins with the anguishing anxiety that prefaces the leap.

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