LIfe is full of cycles and it only stands to reason that if one day really good there will also be more challenging days to come. This is probably one of the most difficult parts of my life as I thrive on balance and keeping an even keel in everything I do. I am easily carried along by the energy of the day, the energy of the moment and I know that, so I try to keep things somewhere in the middle. Of course, life doesn’t work that way. The cycles catch up with you and before you know it it you are riding the rollercoaster.
So today was a bit of a downhill day. I really had no particular reason to be down, but I was tired and a bit overwhelmed with my work. This is always a bad combination and anxiety starts to creep in. I can feel it physically before I notice it mentally. Muscles start to dense, I can feel my face starting to contract, furrows appear in my brow. I only really notice it, though, when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. At that point it becomes obvious, but also very difficult to counteract. Typically I just need to ride the rollercoaster to the bottom of the hill and wait for the climb back up again.
Sometimes the “black dog” finds you. Luckily, this one was quite cute.
Thankfully, I have never been in the situation where I am stuck at the bottom for any great length of time. If I can notice the feeling and so some things to counteract it, a good night’s sleep is usually enough to being me back into the middle.Mostly it is about recognizing what is causing the anxiety and working to eliminate it from my thoughts. Again, the cause usually isn’t anything dramatic. Just some small thing — or worse, combination of events that weighs me down. I am particularly sensitive to multiple factors. I get the sense of “piling on” one after the other and the cumulative effect is greatly magnified. These are with worse periods and take a bit more time and work to break free from.
That is why I am writing early tonight. I already feel ready to head to bed — if not sleep — and it far earlier than usual. Sometimes I just get comfortable and read for awhile. Then, when I am ready to sleep it is easy to roll over and do so. If I don’t do that, the effort of closing up the house can be enough to wake me back up before I get to bed. Then, I will have to reset the process and chill out for another hour or so before I am ready to sleep.
With the lows come the highs and no one would want to live without those moments. Sometimes we all just have to get through the bottom of the hill and the exhilaration of climbing up the next will find us soon enough.
Previously on End of the Day:
- The kids are alright! – End of the Day for May 27, 2014
- Serendipity – End of the Day for May 26, 2014
- Difficult relationships – End of the Day for May 25, 2014
- A “normal” Saturday – End of the Day for May 24, 2014
- Don’t feed the trolls – End of the Day for May 23, 2014
- When Opportunity Knocks – End of the Day for May 22, 2014
- A simple night – End of the Day for May 21, 2014
- What are your secrets? – End of the Day for May 20, 2014
- Did someone get the number of that bus? – End of the Day for May 19, 2014
- Communication and confidence – End of the Day for May 18, 2014
- Attention, Mindfulness and Code Words – End of the Day for May 17, 2014
- Not ready to retire…in any way! – End of the Day for May 16, 2014
- Partners, friends and humanity – End of the Day for May 15, 2014
- What to do? What to do? – End of the Day for May 14, 2014
- Il Piccolo Pisolino (A Little Nap) – End of the Day for May 12, 2014
- It’s the small things – End of the Day for May 11, 2014
- A day off, more or less – End of the Day for May 10, 2014
- The importance of stopping – End of the Day for May 9, 2014
- Expectations of change lead to disappointment – End of the Day for May 8, 2014
- Loneliness – End of the Day for May 7, 2014
- Some days are best when they are over – End of the Day for May 6, 2014
- Control your technology, life, work, don’t let it control you – End of the Day for May 5, 2014
- On tradition, ritual and the smaller moments of life – End of the Day for May 4, 2014
- Of boats and oceans and foxes – End of the Day for May 3, 2014
- Off to the islands again tomorrow – End of the Day for May 2, 2014
- End of the Day for April 2014
- End of the Day for March 2014
- End of the Day for February 2014
- End of the Day for January 2014